We can’t love everything. And neither should you. —Ed.
I would like to preface my comments by saying I’ve got nothing against a vacuous dance track. The Modern World, it seems, is constructed solely of vacuous dance tracks, so one had better make one’s peace with them or move to Albania, where one will hear them anyway.
That said, I have a problem with “MMM Yeah” and Austin Mahone, whose total gamut of facial expressions runs from a smart-ass smirk to a pre-teen-entrancing pout. As for Pitbull, I have no idea who or what he is, except he looks like a low-rent Vin Diesel, boasts a mostly minor-league spiel, and still steals the video from wee Austin Mahone.
Seriously, dance brethren, when it comes to Mahone, I have never taken such an instant visceral dislike to a human being in my life. I had to listen to Sting before I loathed him. One look at Mahone’s squint-eyed smirk and smug mug and I wanted to do him grievous bodily harm. As for “MMM Yeah,” it’s nothing to write home about—the chorus, which eats up half the song, is strictly clichéville—although I will confess to liking the way Pitbull talks out of the corner of his mouth. Steals the song at the end too, with that Spanish patter of his. And he sports a mean bald head.
The world is a terrible place, full of horrors so horrible they’ll horrify you, and Mahone isn’t helping with the line, “’Cause I don’t usually feel some type of way/But this one hit me hard in some kind of place/Like man.” It’s difficult, one would have even thought impossible, to say so little in 22 words, but young Austin pulls it off with aplomb.
About the only good thing to be said about “MMM Yeah” is that the woman in question has the good sense to ignore Mahone’s come-ons and keep walking. It’s proof that somebody’s sane out there.
