Oscar Wilde once said, “All art is quite useless.” For once, the inimitable Oscar is wong. Since 1994 Portland, Oregon’s The Dandy Warhols have been making great music that is great to dance and do drugs to, which makes the Dandys every bit as functional as a good dildo. Why, I don’t even dance—damned wooden leg–and I still think The Dandy Warhols are the greatest thing to come our way since their evil twins, The Brian Jonestown Massacre.
Over the course of eight studio albums—none of which, to be honest, I like from beginning to end—The Dandy Warhols have bequeathed us scads of cool, Britpop-influenced grooves like the beautiful “Good Morning,” “Smoke It” (best song about weed EVER), the positively hypnotic “Godless,” the catchy “Big Indian,” and “Holding Me Up,” which may just be the most ecstatically propulsive song to come our way since, well, The Dandy Warhol’s “The Creep Out.” And like I always say, “Hard on For Jesus” should be America’s National Anthem, if only because I’d love to hear that turd in a ten-gallon hat Toby Keith sing it.
In short, The Dandy Warhols are a great band with great songs, and I’m not saying that just because I’ve had a decade-plus crush on keyboardist Zia McCabe, which certainly has nothing to do with her going topless in the “Boys Better” video. And The Dandys have range: their songs run the gamut from pop (“Boys Better,” “Bohemian Like You”) to more experimental tunes (“A Loan Tonight,” “Pete International Airport”). They sing, “Everyday Should Be a Holiday.” Well, every day IS a holiday with The Dandy Warhols around. We should all stay home from work and listen to “Godless” and take “Horse Pills” and go into a trance. It sure beats watching Antique Roadshow, that’s for damn certain.
I’m not crazy about The Dandy’s latest LP, 2012’s This Machine, but it doesn’t matter much; they’re not touring to play it. Instead they’re doing the latest “thing,” namely playing a classic Dandys’ album in its entirety, in this case the Millenium Year’s Thirteen Tales from Urban Bohemia. I would have preferred 1997’s …The Dandy Warhol’s Come Down, but since when do these prima donna rock star types let the “little guy” like me make their major decisions for them?
Anyway, be sure to be at the 9:30 Club on Saturday May 29 to hear The Dandy Warhols play songs like “Get Off” and “Shakin’,” not to mention whatever songs they may throw in after they’ve finished playing Thirteen Tales From Urban Bohemia. I’m praying for “Lou Weed” and “Holding Me Up,” which I intend to dance to, wooden leg or no. Like Mike says in Dazed and Confused, “I wanna dance!” And I don’t care if I have to be flat on the floor to do it.
Enter to win a pair of tickets for next Thursday’s show (5/29) by regaling us in the comments below with the Dandy’s song you’d most want to hear outside of anything on 13 Tales—because you’re going to hear all of those. We’ll choose one winner for the pair this Friday, 5/24!
