As a DJ, you develop a special art-form. It’s called: ignoring requests.
You hone this skill over years.
I have learned that trying to explain to party-goers why their requests are unwarranted and inappropriate is a futile act. Most of the time, people who are requesting tracks are intoxicated on one substance or another. They know they will feel it if you drop a certain track, but what they don’t understand is that they are asking for a country song in the middle of a house set.
I find myself using rhetorical phrases like “Are you having a good time?” or “I’m planning on playing that genre in the future if you want to wait around for a while.” If the person is really insistent, I will say, “I forgot to bring that track today.” If they are really, REALLY insistent, they will say things like, “Don’t you have the internet? Can’t you download it right now?”
This is when I call security over to deal with it.
For a person requesting, a “Becky,” as DJs like to call them, there are a myriad of ways to not have your song played:
- Using the phrases “It’s my friend’s birthday” and “I have ___ number of people here who would like to hear this.”
- Poking a DJ in the middle of his set to try to get his attention. (I once physically shoved a gaggle of girls out of the booth for doing this.)
- Requesting a different genre than what the DJ is playing
- Telling the DJ that no one is dancing to this, so they should listen to your request
- Not leaving till they play the song you’ve requested
- Sending friend-after-friend to request the same song
- Chanting for another song in the middle of the DJ’s set
- Asking if the DJ has an audio jack for their iPod
…The list goes on, but I bet you get the idea.
Here are some tracks no DJ will ever play for you:
- Rick Astley – “Never Gonna Give You Up”
- Snow – “Informer”
- Marcia Griffith – “Electric Boogie (Electric Slide)”
- Right Said Fred – “I’m Too Sexy”
- Milli Vanilli – “Blame it on the Rain”
- Village People – “YMCA”
- Eiffel 65 – “Blue”
- The Vengaboys – “Vengabus”
- Lou Bega – “Mambo #5”
- Baha Men – “Who Let The Dogs Out”
- Los Del Rio – “Macarena”
Some DJs might play these tracks for shits-‘n’-giggles, but they will never play them if they are requested.
Now that we’ve covered what not to do, here are some suggestions for trying to get your track played:
First off, write down your request legibly on a piece of paper. Only one request though, no lists. Find out from the bartender or security staff what the DJ is drinking and buy him this. If the DJ doesn’t drink, then offer him at least $5. You might consider this a bribe; most DJs would consider this a courtesy. Compliment him on his skill and the track selection shown so far, even if the tracks are whack and the DJ can’t mix. Tell him it would be nice if he could play your track in the future. If the track is appropriate to the set he is playing and he hasn’t already played said song, he will most likely play it. Keep in mind that most DJs who take requests are most likely using their position as a DJ to have sex. If you are genuinely interested in pursuing this, then hit on them.
Some tips for other DJs when approaching fellow DJs:
First off, NEVER request anything unless you have a relationship with that DJ. If you are looking for gigs at that venue, then aproach the DJ when he is not spinning. Never flat-out ask for a gig. Compliment him on his track selection and try to start a conversation about music. You can let him know you are also a DJ looking for gigs. Do not try to get on that DJ’s gigs; ask him for the info of whomever is in charge of booking. Ask the DJ if he has a website with some of his mixes and pursue him that way. They are more likely to help you out if you develop a relationship.
Note that this article does not apply to rental DJs, the guys you hire for your kid’s birthday party, weddings, or school dances. Though keep in mind that their lives are usually a living hell, so cut them some slack.
The Metaphysical | Heat Wavv
Appropriately, next Friday, July 8th, The Metaphysical is playing the No Requests party in Harrisonburg, Virginia, which is at the Blue Nile this month.
The Metaphysical has two monthlys at The Rock and Roll Hotel: GKYK with DJ Keenan (Second Saturdays, next show 7/9), and STANK! (Last Saturdays, next show 7/30). He also has a nu disco party Church, with DJ Dean every Sunday at Asylum. The Metaphysical is also in international hip hop group mathpanda and travels the globe as a DJ.
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