The end of the world is nigh… again! And woe is the impish prophet who keeps adding on to that damn math equation that, supposedly, determines our fate. It now has more components than pi.
While social networks and evangelical radio stations go topsy-turvy over the supposed End of the World, tomorrow, May 21st, I felt inclined to google my brain for 8 albums to have on beside the ol’ Crosley as the angels sound their horns and a pale white horse emerges from the firmaments of heaven.
Whether you’re impelled to loot, make love, salsa, get high, share a laugh, bang your head, or just scream bloody murder, this list might fancy you… in the last hours.
1. La Voz – Hector Lavoe
In the afterlife, no math equation needed to determine “El Cantante” is still a bad mofo. Polyester suits, pinky rings, and a voice as pleasant as mama’s dulce de mamey recalls an era where salsa dance was a part of New York’s lifeforce. So, why not have one more three step with your sweetheart before the end of the world?
2. Hell – James Brown
James Brown was probably the only person who could make an epic song out of the simplest affirmation, “Please!” Think “Titanic.” You definitely want the Godfather of Soul and his band playing as the ship goes down, so to speak.
3. Fatherfucker – Peaches
For the love of apricots and its relatives, the album’s called Fatherfucker for fuck’s sake. Blasphemers, listen with caution.
4. For Adults Only – Bill Cosby
Judgement Day is stressful as a mother, I’d imagine. So, why not have a laugh? Recorded in Las Vegas aka Sin City forty years ago, the King of (Pudding) Pop makes light of the hypocritical churchgoers who frequent casinos. Completely non-judgmental, Cosby jabs at those who double down their tithes in exchange for eternal damnation on the Strip.
5. Space is the Place – Sun Ra
If the angels of Judgment Day could play avant-garde jazz, Sun Ra’s chaotic riffs would surely be a part of their set. Sun Ra, one of jazz’s most prolific composers, was about as out-there as moon on Saturn. The album’s called Space is the Place. You get me?
6. Urban Hymns – The Verve
Wouldn’t you agree listening to The Verve’s melodies is the equivalent to shoegazing, a fitting deterrent for The Rapture?
7. Eskmo – Eskmo
The people that swear by psilocybin will find the San Francisco-based producer to be Brian Eno 2.0. You may get some ideas from Eskmo’s live performance if you choose to entertain at home with lasers, ambient music, live looping, and pots and pans. Crank the music up, but keep the lasers low, to make way for the blinding light above.
8. British Steel – Judas Priest
What better way for the human population to go out than to the all-inclusive arena-rock anthem “United?” Or the alternative: to run amok in your town, “Breaking the Law.” Don’t get too carried way because come May 22nd, those boys in blue may lock you down till, perhaps, the Four Horsemen decide on their next trip to Earth.
