Sweet Odin’s armpit! What offense to the olfactory glands do we have here? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the worst heavy metal album in the universe!
I suppose I should hedge my bets, because I’ve never subjected myself to LPs by Yngwie Malmsteen or the Great Kat. But make no mistake–Manowar’s Sign of the Hammer (1984) is the real deal, an album so appalling in so many ways it transcends itself and becomes low comedy. Which actually makes it one of the best heavy metal albums in the universe!
“The Manowar Konzept” is as simple as it is dumb–four steroidal stand-ins for Conan the Barbarian play a testosterone-sodden species of operatic metal fitted out with fantasy lyrics extolling the Viking warrior code. The animal pelt loin cloths, leather and Thor hair are window dressing. Fleet-fingered bass player Joey DeMaio is a staunch proponent of the baroque overwrought. Singer Eric Adams shrieks like a Norseman with his balls in a forge. Backing Valkyries abound. Probably the best way to explain these nitwits from the land of ice and snow (i.e., Auburn, New York) is by noting they’re the only band in rock history to commit a solo bass rendition of “The Flight of the Bumblebees” to vinyl. If I were a bumblebee I’d commit suicide by bug zapper.
Indeed, the band’s ethos is so ludicrous it’s hard not to take it as an elaborate practical joke. And the fact that guitarist Ross “The Boss” Friedman was formerly a member of the Dictators, the funniest band to ever come out of New Yawk or anywhere for that manner, lends an element of plausibility to such suspicions. But no. The bombast is in earnest–chief songwriter and band genius DeMaio once complained to an MTV interviewer that “there’s a real lack of big, epic metal that is drenched with crashing guitars and choirs and orchestras.” But never you fear–Manowar to the rescue!
NEW RELEASE PICKS: Tellavision, Add Land (Bureau B) There are lots of things to like about this release, the fourth full-length (and my intro to her work) from this one-woman Berlin-based artist. I like how I wasn’t able to easily discover her birth name. I like how the thrust of the work here, which is electronic and song-based, resists easily encapsulation as electronic-pop, while pop is an integral component (there’s also techno and Krautrock to consider). I like her voice, stated in the press release as foregrounded more here than on prior releases, and how it possesses a soulfulness that makes clear that she could really belt it out (and there are plenty of spots where she gets close). Lastly, I like that on an album concerned with positivity and love, Tellavision’s music is powerful and multifaceted. A-
Fox Millions Duo, Biting Through (Thrill Jockey) In terms of percussion worthiness, Greg Fox and Kid Millions (a.k.a. John Colpitts) are two of the most impressive figures on the contempo scene. They are, as Gorilla Monsoon used to say, forces to be reckoned with. Having attained this stature individually, one might worry that creating together might somehow neutralize or undermine each other’s strengths (in the manner of so many past supergroups), but their prior record Lost Time was a killer and so is this follow-up, which has a lot more going for it than just hi-energy drumming. Like synths for instance, these devices run through a modular setup with contact mics so they can be played live. Which brings us back to high-energy, as parts of this remind me of a four-armed Rashied Ali going full-tilt with Merzbow. A-
REISSUE/ARCHIVAL PICKS: Dream Syndicate, Days of Wine and Roses (Fire) I consider this a perfect record. Furthermore, it’s pretty much the apex of the Paisley Underground and darker and heavier than their cohorts in that scene. It was also the end of what many consider to be the “classic” Dream Syndicate lineup of lead vocalist-guitarist Steve Wynn, lead guitarist Karl Precoda, bassist Kendra Smith, and drummer Dennis Duck. Steve Wynn soldiered on through the ’80s, but while all the subsequent records all have their moments (the band has also reunited, with a new LP out next month), this one remains the best. Fire’s edition of 500 includes their S/T four-song EP and a repress of the 45 by Wynn’s earlier band 15 Minutes featuring a significantly different version of “That’s What You Always Say.” A+
Alice Clark, S/T (Wewantsounds) Here’s an absolute must for soul fans, unless of course you already own a clean-playing copy of this ’72 release on Bob Shad’s Mainstream label. Originals now exchange hands for hundreds of dollars, and listening makes it easy to understand why, as Clark was an exceptional singer comparable in style to Aretha Franklin and notably confident on her only LP (there was a pair of prior singles, both also highly sought after). The band, which shares some members with Franklin’s backing bands of the time, was impeccably assembled by Shad as he and arranger Ernie Wilkins produced a knockout in just two days at the Record Plant in NYC. Steeped in that lush but robust early ‘70s soul feel, this should’ve been a major hit. Another fine reissue from this class label. A
Sussex, UK | Record Store Day 2019: All you need to know about vinyl in Sussex: With Record Store Day seeing queues from 3am outside some stores last year, here’s your guide to getting ahead of the game in Sussex. What is it? With more than 500 limited edition releases on offer, Record Store Day is your chance to grab exclusive vinyl not available anywhere else. When is it? Record Store Day 2019 is this Saturday, April 13. Last year saw queues from 3am in Chichester as music devotees clamoured to get the new releases. Our advice is to get to stores early to avoid disappointment. Where can I buy these 
Chicago, IL | ‘It’s the busiest day of the year, by far’: Oak Park shops preparing for Record Store Day, first without founder Val Camilletti: Though it will be the first celebration without its founder and owner, the party will still go on at Val’s Halla Records as the shop celebrates Record Store Day on April 13. Val’s Halla, 239 Harrison St., in Oak Park, will open its doors at 9 a.m., and the day will include limited edition goodies, a store-wide sale, coffee and doughnuts while they last and live music throughout the day. At Oak Park Records, 179 S. Oak Park Ave., owner Alan Heffelfinger said he will be offering 20 percent off used vinyl, sales on new vinyl and will have specials on some CDs and cassettes…Val’s Halla store manager Shayne Blakeley said record stores typically experience a drop in sales after the holidays, but he hopes Record Store Day can reignite the community’s connection with 
NEW RELEASE PICKS: Inter Arma, Sulphur English (Relapse) Mountain Goat John Darnielle penned a short bio for this Richmond, VA-based doom-sludge-progressive metal unit’s fourth album. It’s an utterly adoring text, which is cool, as I very much enjoy when musicians enthuse over the productivity of their contemporaries, especially when those gestures span across genres (though indie singer-songwriter Darnielle has been long-noted as a major metalhead). With this said, I normally take these appreciations with a grain or two of salt. The difference here is that I was pretty much knocked sideways by the expansive heaviness of Inter Arma’s prior album, 2016’s Paradise Gallows, and was wondering how they’d follow it up. At just short of 67 minutes, this one’s nearly as long and just as accomplished. A
Hans-Joachim Roedelius & Tim Story, Lunz 3 (Grönland) Roedelius is noted, amongst other achievements, for co-founding the Krautrock-kosmische staples Harmonia and Cluster. Story is a veteran ambient composer who made a considerable impact on the ’80s New Age scene via recordings through Windham Hill and Hearts of Space. The first meeting of these figures took place in the Austrian city of Lunz, with their ongoing collaboration named after the locale. Lunz 3 means this is the pair’s third recording. I haven’t heard the others, but based on what’s here, some backtracking is in my future. In terms of their individual discographies, I’m more in Roedelius’ camp, but the prettiness I associate with Story’s work integrates well in this context, and along the way there are all sorts of surprises. A-
REISSUE/ARCHIVAL PICKS: Art Ensemble of Chicago, The Spiritual (ORG Music) Like Tutankhamun (which ORG reissued earlier this year), this was cut during the Art Ensemble’s early and highly fertile days in Paris, where they solidified as a group (in terms of sound and under the name AEoC) prior to the addition of drummer-percussionist Don Moye, who joined in 1970 (the year after The Spiritual was recorded). No Moye doesn’t mean a lack of percussion however, as everyone contributes on that front. Yes, this LP is an experience in abstraction, but it’s also strikingly cohesive (and disciplined) in its desire to re-inhabit the pre-swing/ bebop New Orleans spirit of jazz collectivity while getting at something unmistakably new and at times thrillingly theatrical. After 50 years this still challenges and rewards. A 
Cecil Taylor, The Great Paris Concert (ORG Music) Recorded in November of 1966 but not released until 1973 by BYG as Student Studies (the ’77 edition by Freedom carried the title used here; reissues have alternated since), this features Taylor with alto saxophonist Jimmy Lyons, bassist Alan Silva, and drummer Andrew Cyrille; essentially the band on Conquistador! (which was recorded for Blue Note less than two months prior) minus trumpeter Bill Dixon and second bassist Henry Grimes. Notably, everyone here also played on Unit Structures (cut in May of ’66) so it suffices to say the band knows the complexities of Taylor’s music well (Lyons had been with him since ’61). Crucially, they add their own strains of individualism. For those just getting into Taylor, this one is essential. A
Northampton, UK | Records shops in Northampton get ready for annual vinyl releases dash: Record Store Day is back this weekend with shops across the county gearing up for the annual dash for copies of this year’s limited releases. Spun Out and Vinyl Underground will both be stocking official RSD19 releases, with Spiral Archive and The Lamplighter also getting involved with record sales during the day. For the first time this year, Spun Out, in Gold Street, will be opening on both the Saturday and Sunday to meet demand from record buyers. Owner Chris Kent, pictured with some of this year’s limited releases, said: “We’re really looking forward to Record Store Day again. It’s such a great day and lovely to see customers old and new who turn out to support the shop. “Every year we get people discovering us through record store day and they 
Dorset, UK | Shops taking part in Record Store Day in Dorset: It is bigger than Christmas for the small businesses selling music on vinyl. Record Store Day – taking place this Saturday, April 13 – regularly sees some fans camp out overnight to get their hands on a slew of collectable releases. Hundreds of special singles and LPs are ready for release, including titles from Queen, David Bowie, U2 and Madonna, as well as a host of independent artists. The Vault in Bournemouth and Christchurch and Square Records in Wimborne are among the 200 independent shops taking part in an event that accounts for a big chunk of their turnover. They are not allowed to sell before 8am and there is a seven-day embargo before anyone is allowed to sell the releases online. The local stores taking part limit customers to one copy of anything. Alan Rowett of the Vault said: “It’s 
