Mark Mallman:
The TVD First Date

“My older brother was in the sixth grade when he brought home a copy of Back in Black by AC/DC. It was taboo and off limits to me. ‘You cannot touch this record. You cannot even look at this record. This record is for grown ups,’ he said.”

“I was in the second grade and had only listened to Sesame Street records and whatever useless music those piano teachers hammered into my skull—and the Jeff Lynne soundtrack to Xanadu. A couple weeks after the black magic wore off, I came into his room and he let me listen. It was like some forbidden language that I couldn’t quite speak but fully understood. I couldn’t say I even enjoyed it, but I knew enough to tell that it was bad news.

The next night, my dad had a buddy from work over. He brought his second grade daughter along. My brother wasn’t home, so I waited in his bedroom. I remember hearing her voice for a moment, then I put the record on. I played it through both sides very loud to be certain everyone in the kitchen knew that I was a second grade bad ass—especially the girl. I didn’t know what I was doing, it was purely instinct. It was an instinctual knowing, a message from my future self that 10 years later, I would begin a rock path of reckless abandon.

When Back in Black was finished, I walked into the kitchen. Everybody had gone into the garage. I remember standing in the silence, questioning the power of this music to evacuate a room from all the way across the house. This single reaction, confirmed with in me that I had successfully communicated to everyone, especially the girl, that I was bad news. Knowing this, I went into my own room and listened to Xanadu softly.

Nothing really changes in life. Sure, you get older, and you buy a house and a car or whatever. But sometimes I wonder if I’m making such a big racket just to scare everybody so that I can listen to Electric Light Orchestra softly.

Nowadays I own my own vinyl copy of Back in Black, and I still play it loudly. The only difference is, nobody leaves the party when I put it on.”
Mark Mallman

Mark Mallman’s brand new release Double Silhouette, is on store shelves now via Eagle’s Golden Tooth.

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